Being Organic (.Net)

I chose death last night. It was an exercise at a retreat called The Practice . In the first round, I had chosen to live, and thought I would again, but at the last minute realized that I may be a little too attached to living... by which I really mean to not suffering pain (the little deaths) and that has meant I don't fully live... I live safely, too safely. If I avoid death at the expense of living, perhaps it is better to be a bit more open to death. And so last night I chose to die in the game, and I was fine. I was fine.

You may have heard the saying "Don't believe everything you think." Just because we believe something (and give voice to it) doesn't mean it is true. It's a snapshot of where we are at in our process... it's the difference between a picture and a video. When I'm crabby and complaining about the world, I always remind myself that... it's just what is 'true' for me in that moment. If I write it down, I memorialize a moment that won't seem true when I read it later. I'm organic and in process. Even as I write, I say some things I don't fully believe. But I want to let them out, because I suspect others might resonate with those thoughts and feelings. Ultimately, they will point to needs that are real, needs all of us have (either met or unmet). On the other hand, everything I say is TRUE! By which I mean, taken in it's totality, the black and the white, the insights and the bitching, it's all real. Taken together, it...